Our Story Today

Dear Mindset Explorers,

Have you ever felt like you were trapped in a cage of your own making? For years, I lived in that cage, convinced that I was never good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. My story is one of struggle, comparison, and ultimately, transformation—a journey from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset that I’d like to share with you today!

Growing up, I faced a lot of criticism from my parents. I was constantly compared to my classmates, and it felt like I was always falling short. This relentless comparison became the foundation of my fixed mindset. From the ages of 12 to 23, I told myself that there was no point in trying things I wasn’t already good at. If I wasn’t immediately successful, I believed it simply wasn’t meant for me. I thought my future was limited to being a server, that I’d never find anything I excelled at, and that I’d always be overshadowed by my friends.

Comparing Myself to Others

“Comparison is the thief of all joy,” they say, and I couldn’t agree more. Even though I was attending the University of Texas at Austin—one of the top public universities—I was blinded by my own insecurities. I was handed opportunities that many would dream of, yet all I could focus on was how I didn’t have a great job lined up after graduation. My mindset kept me from recognizing the value of my experiences, and I sank into a deep depression, turning to alcohol as a way to mask my self-loathing. Kind words from friends and family seemed to bounce off me; I dismissed them, thinking, “What do they know? They’re successful. They don’t understand what I’m going through.”

Pivotal Moment

It wasn’t until after college, after years of serving in the restaurant industry, enduring a terrible first job, and battling my alcohol dependency, that a pivotal moment occurred. One day, I took a long, hard look at myself and realized just how angry I had been at the world—and at myself. I asked myself, “How could I let my life be defined by this mindset?” I didn't know it at the time, but there was so much more waiting for me if I could just break the mental chains I had placed on myself. I don't know what made me re-examine my life, but that was truly the pivotal moment in my life.

This change didn’t happen overnight. I was in a terrible state—mentally, physically, and emotionally—but I committed to trying to grow every day, even if it was just a little bit. I learned that it was okay to have off days, to feel lazy, or to stumble. What mattered most was the overall progress I was making. Sure, some people might seem like they improve every single day, but I realized that it’s about the journey, not perfection.

Overall Growth

I started to ask myself questions: Did I work out today? Did I learn something new? Did I connect with someone? Was I becoming a better version of myself? Gradually, this daily practice became something I looked forward to. I found joy in the small victories, and it became addictive.

Interestingly, I didn’t even know the terms “growth mindset” and “fixed mindset” until a year or two ago. But when I learned about them, it felt like a light bulb went off. I recognized that the switch between these two mindsets was the very journey I had been navigating.

I created this newsletter to connect with others who might be on a similar path. I want to share our stories, support one another, and check in each week as we navigate our journeys together. I’ll continue to share my personal experiences as I strive to become better each day, and I hope you’ll join me in this exploration of growth.

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